Some old stuff.

This is very old, but I somehow re-read and found it quite funny so just to show my newer readers! /heh

















Better than The Dark Knight. Trust me.

Here's a brief synopsis:


Faced with the tragedy of having his parents eloping, Ah Keong (David Kuok) enters a state of severe depression. He one day meets Tai Kok (Kok Weng) and is astounded by his name which literally meant Big Cock.

Tai Kok introduces him to his triad gang, led by Tiny (Dong Quan) who uses his appearance to fool others and incapacitate them when his opponents are off guard. This impresses Ah Keong and Ah Keong vows to join his triad, The Karaoke Gang.

As Ah Keong was patrolling down the Neway corridor, he is bemused by a loud, unimpressive singing voice coming out of room 34. Thinking it was his chance to stamp his authority on his new ground, he shouted with a grizzly voice: "NOOOOOOOOOB!"

Immediately, he was greeted by the door slamming open and hitting his face. Adjusting his spectacles, Ah Keong was met with nothing. Shocked, he scratched his head before something stomped his feet. He looked down as he yelped for pain, searching for the source. Ah Keong then sees the blazing eyes of Dai Ka Jie (Kar Mun), and is startled.

Dai Ka jie's friends, Yi Ka Jie (Shing Yi) and Edward Cullen (Jou Ee) then steps out of the room, wondering what caused the fuss before introducing themselves.

Ah Keong was laughing hysterically at Jou Ee's gang name and faints spontaneously.

A pair of superimbacrazywtf high pitched voices woke Ah Keong up and he found out that his spectacles broke. Experiencing a slight amnesia, he sometimes calls himself Tony.

The Ka Jies spot him and orders him to clean up the room. He enters Room 34 and sees two drunkards playing scissors-paper-stone non stop.

The manager Yeng Yeng [This means shadow shadow in cantonese] (Joel) sees the open-mouthed Ah Keong and introduces him to Lion (Li Qi) and Puppy (Jung Kiang). In typical triad fashion, this prompts Lion to wager Ah Keong's hair in their tiebreaking scissors-paper-stone game with Puppy.

Puppy retaliates by saying he'll wager something else, something even more valuable (to him anyway la.) - Ah Keong's pubic hair. Lion laughs and shouts "THAT'S JUST LIKE YOU, GAY!"

Ah Keong gets afraid and his Tony persona takes over. He proclaims: "HI I'M IRONMAN!" before running out of the room.

He barges into CEO Ngan Zi [Silver kid/money in cantonese] (Zi Chuen) and his two girlfriends Soprano (Jun Yen) and Alto (Soonyi). The two girls sang (shouted) loudly in unison when faced with the threat of Tony. However, Tony threatens to utilize his pewpewlaz0rz should they sing a pitch higher before fleeing Neway. Screaming "BATMAN YOU SUCK! IRONMAN RULEZZ!" on the way out.

The rest were stunned.

To be continued...

Telepathy.

DISCLAIMER: THE STORY BELOW IS PURE FICTION, ANY NAMES THAT ARE FAMILIAR IS PURE COINCIDENCE.

Telepathy, whether you're a believer or not, exists to a certain degree....

Or so some wise guy said.

Just so you know he's the same person who said this:

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A lame Joke a day keeps depression at bay!"

And something about flour that I don't remember....

Anyway this was a story about four people:

And so it goes...

---

Kumar, Salleh and Najed are good friends and classmates studying in the unglamorous School of Hemahtinggi in New Yolk town, near Beijing city, Malaysia.


One fateful day, Cik Santaclaus Rohini was enthusiastically teaching her students her favourite and most proficient subject, English in Science and Technology (EST).

Cik Rohini asked a question,

"Class listen. No, class, shush, listen to me, class, listen! Why when... CLASS! Why is it that when a lot of people go in a submarine, the submarine sinks to a depth of-"

A bewildered Kumar instinctively raised his hand.

Cik Rohini then said: "Class, this student here is really good, he raised his hands before I finished my, class listen, question. Class, you must learn from Kumar, class, he is a good student..."

Kumar: "Erm, teacher....."

Rohini: "Hold on, don't interrupt... Class, you must always react fast! Yes, Kumar?"

Kumar: "Is it because the submarine too heavy?"

Rohini: "NO, IT'S BECAUSE IT'S A SUBMARINE AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!"


*Silence...*


Rohini: "Class, wasn't that funny?"


*Silence...Silence...Silence...Silence...Silence...*


Kumar: "Teacher. Can I go to the toilet please?"

Rohini: "Yes boy, you may go wherever you want. Cik Rohini is powerless to stop you, but please be careful and watch out for the discipline teachers and our new principal. He is very strictkkkk! Hold on boy, I think it's best you don't go yet, you might be troubled if you get caught."

Kumar: "But teacher, I can't stand it anymore, even the great king from tamadun Mesopotamia, Gilgamesh of Uruk, goes to the toilet. So does the son of the Sun God, Amon Re of tamadun Mesir Purba! And the list goes on! We need toilet!"

Rohini: "Oh... Ermm... Okay. Did you know toilet last time was just a hole dug into the ground! Look how technology helps! CLASS, KEEP QUIET!"

Kumar: "Teacher you got any questions?"

Rohini: "No."

Kumar: "You understand?"

Rohini: "Yes."

Kumar: "Then I know I got to go already."


Kumar quickly rushes off out of the class. HOWEVER. SHOCKINGLY!!!! Kumar stopped once away from sight, gave a smirk and said... "So easy...", and walked slowly, really slowly towards the toilet, wasting as much time as possible.

Cik Rohini was quick to continue her class, already asking another question. This time, Salleh was picked to answer.


Rohini: "What is the meaning of fatigue?"


Salleh answered in his usual squeaky voice.


Salleh: "The meaning of Physics? Mmmmhh.... Come from the Greek words "Physikos" that meant the study of nature."

Rohini: "Meant? Do you mean it is no longer the study of nature? What is it now? The study of furniture? And boy, you really have to brush up your English okay?"

Salleh: "Sorry, my language in England is not really good.... Can I go to the toilet? I got perut sakit."

Rohini: "Okay, go go go..."

Najed: "Allah, gila betultu, tentu pergi 'pak toh' dengan Kumar!"

Rohini: "English please? It's EST period."

Najed: "YALAH, EST UNTUK ENGLISH SANGAT TOUGH! BAHASA LEBIH BAIK!"


Meanwhile... Salleh walked out of class. To his surprise, he found Kumar still walking ever so slowly towards the toilet and caught up in like... two steps?


Najed: "AIYO CIKGU. GILA BETULLAH! SAYA PUN TAK PERCAYA TAPI SAYA NAMPAK MEREKA DUA PEGANG TANGAN! CIKGU BIAR SAYA PERGI CHECK!"

Rohini: "Betulkah? Itu perkara serius! Pengetua will be very furious! Okay baik, saya berikan tanggungjawab ini kepadamu."


And so, Najed rushed off as well. Like Salleh, he caught up in no time with the duo. The three of them sighed at the same time and sighed, whispering to one another: "Now that was easy!"

They headed to the toilet. And finally reached there after a 10 minutes long walk. There they chatted while pissing away.


Kumar: "Eh our teacher. Not so bright la."

Salleh: "Ya, she are a bit not smart."

Najed: "GILA BETULLAH!"

Kumar: "I hope she pisses in her pants."

Salleh: "Pisses in her pants? Mmmmh.... I very hopes so too."

Najed: "GILA BETULLAH!"


*Meanwhile*


Ah Beng: "CIK ROHINI, YOUR PANTS IS WET!"


[Thus ends the story of the four who telepathically pissed in their pants together.]


*****In conclusion, telepathy, to a certain degree, exists.

THE END.