To the Moon and Back

I somewhat think that the lady I will one day wed will not be someone that is capable of fulfilling and conforming to my values.

But rather someone that is capable of changing my values.

Causative.

I don't love them enough. Hence I should not expect them to love me as much.

---

It's somewhat caustic to me to not have somebody to love. Somewhat.

Ergo, ergo, ergo?

I have a Fear of Loneliness.

Left and Right I look, People just have that Little More than I do.
A Little More than I can, a Little More than I can have.

I try to pretend I am not, but I truly am. Yes, Envious.

I Liked to Think, and Thought a lot.
'Hey, maybe it's a Problem with Myself! Let's try to Change That!'

I Headbutt myself into the Lives of Others, showing little Concern to the Gazes and Stares.

But with much Caution, Conscious of my own Conscience.

Taking Bullets, breaking Bullets, and reassembling Bullets.

Yet, Slaying the Bull yielded no Beef in The End.
It lies Deeper, Darker than where I can Peer.
With more Danger, Despair than I can Bear.
With Doubt, that I can last another Bout.

I came Back to You, whose benign Love is akin to a Phoenix.

Reborn when Dead, and Rejuvenated when Exhausted.

Refilled when Dried, and Replenished when Extracted.

Inexorable.

But nonetheless Ephemeral...


Ergo, I will not Stop:

I will Continue to Seek,
And Cull my Weak.

Down but up soon.

Yes Life, you've knocked me down. But no, you don't get to win. I'll get up now, and I'll definitely kick you in the ass.

The Fool's Oath.

'Grown numb then grown wont... I swore I'd never return to this place where your tombstone lay. On it the epitaph that I carved and never want to read. Maybe... Maybe! I'm really just a little mad! ... And a little sad... But I'm glad! I think... Or am I, really?'

'Haha yes you are, you are, you really are! You really really really really are! ... You are.'

'I'll never re-enter this maw 'til You grow stronger. I promise.'