Causative.

I don't love them enough. Hence I should not expect them to love me as much.

---

It's somewhat caustic to me to not have somebody to love. Somewhat.

Jack and Sally.

Really?

Really.

---

Sometimes I think of things that I can only dare to dream of.

But still, that doesn't stop me from feeling happy whenever I think of it!

Turbulence.

Every time my mind stumbles across and remembers that dreamy August night, I can't help but giggle by myself and laugh at the silliness of that kid. :D

I still think it quite an achievement because despite its failures, it was a breakthrough after all. Heh!


---


I confess. In the past, I have always tried to be cool in every action I take. But, I'm tired of it already. From now on, I'll try to be warm. Cool people are almost ubiquitous nowadays; warm people are a rare breed. Everyone can be cool, but not everyone can be warm.

The only truly warm people I know of are Natalie Khoo and Andrew Fong. Those people that never cease to smile and have a cheerful aura and give a warm "Hello" every time you meet.... Fine, in the case of Nat, it's more like... "HELLOOOOO WHATS UPPPPPP!" But you get my drift. Yeah, those are really nice people and I want to be like them.

By my own admission, I have difficulty caring enough about other people when my own sense of justice kicks in. It's hard and rather troublesome for me. I don't like faulting and berating my friends, yet I can't stand faulting the just. But I won't stop trying to strike a right balance. Must. Be. Warm!


---


I hate cynics.

That is ironically, coming from a huge-ass cynic himself. Ugh.


---


"Hey, you. You always walk past people as if they are invisible if you have no business with them. If you make eye contact with another, can't you at least nod or smile or say something to acknowledge their existence? Or you can't even be assed to do even that? All you do is put on that self proclaimed 'normal face' of yours and trudge off with an aura of enmity."


Hey, I'm sorry if you think so. But gee... Do I really?


---

Hihi, I'll find you.

---


I <3 Subway!

Countdown.

You know, when I look at the result sheets, it is usually with more apathy than excitement, pride, or guilt.

When I do well, I just give a shrug and continue on with my business.

But more often than not, I do not do too well. Gone are the days where my name sits somewhere near the top of the list. Nowadays, it always lurks at the tail-end of the list.

However, I always take heart from the fact that I know I am nowhere near doing my best yet. I am capable of more and I can do better. A lot better.

But that's not where the problem lies, is it?

The problem is:

Can I actually bring myself to do my best?

35 days. Wake up.

See that line? You never should have crossed it.

A good measure of his personality can be sensed from his first meeting with Stella. Noctis hides his shyness underneath a façade of coolness in front of him, which creates a cold and unsociable impression. However, he smiles and acts more openly around his friends, a testament to Nomura's statement that "[Noctis] is not the least bit a silent, gloomy little boy."


Hmmmmmmmm.

... Shall not have any idiosyncrasies.


---


Had a long chat with a friend last night.

Even though I was the one that was supposed to help and give advice, I (perhaps accidentally) ended up talking a lot of sense that could be applied even to myself.


Things aren't really what they seem to be sometimes.
We're not really as strong as we'd like to think sometimes.
Yet the contrary is also true.
We're not really as weak as we sometimes think we are.

However content we are with running away, it just isn't the way to solve problems.

The world around us more or less affects what we do and what we are.
Conversely,
What we do and what we become affects the world around us.
So perhaps a little tweak to ourselves can actually help change things around us that we don't like... Hmmm?

It's only ever 'you against the world' when you don't let anyone else come into your life to help.


"Pain for me is fine, I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Hahaha, some kind of martyr my friend is.


---


Holiday time is also pimple raising and eyebags growing time! Sadly, it's infinitely true and I already have plenty.

Sleep so late some more la.

Back to School.

Headed back to good ol' Damansara for reunion dinner. Not a lot of people that I don't get to meet much nowadays turned up, sadly. So didn't get to catch up with anyone much, only Andrea I guess, and she's not even my ex-classmate, lol!


That's me and sze being lazyworms! Heh. Talked with many teachers, and generally met quite a few people, though mostly juniors. I guess it's true that people's affinity towards their alma mater slowly fade with time. :|

Where's your sense of belonging!

The seniors didn't turn up but quite a good deal of the younger ones turned up. Was still relatively fun to watch the changes in people though. :D

And... After yesterday, I can safely conclude that Wai Seng is damn pat and Andrea is damn sampat.

=="

Cheerio.

Quizzical!

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges. You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions. Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist. Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!). [LOOOOL I JUST DID THIS YESTERDAY! xD] Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others. And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you. You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically. Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas. Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

You Are a Question Mark

You seek knowledge and insight in every form possible. You love learning. And while you know a lot, you don't act like a know it all. You're open to learning you're wrong. You ask a lot of questions, collect a lot of data, and always dig deep to find out more. You're naturally curious and inquisitive. You jump to ask a question when the opportunity arises. Your friends see you as interesting, insightful, and thought provoking. (But they're not always up for the intense inquisitions that you love!) You excel in: Higher education You get along best with: The Comma

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

Tulips Say You're Very Positive

You are very popular and universally admired. You are often hopelessly in love, and you connect to other people easily. You are a naturally cheerful and upbeat person. You have an amazing smile. You have a fresh perspective on things. You have a different way of looking at the world.

What Do The Flowers You Pick Say About You?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding



uhh. really?


.... I'm starting to feel quite gay doing these quizes.
Mel, Ying and Yun-influenced!

---

'You're just like the Sun. You always feel the need to constantly shine and do something of notice.'

'You think so? I feel more like the Moon who needs the Sun to shine before I can even do anything.'

I like to:

I have very weird hobby/quirks, or so I am told.

They say I like to:

• Jump around shouting people's name without actually having anything to say.
• Stare 'intensely' at people while walking past them.
• Hide in corners and ambush people.
• Poke people when they are most unaware.
• Tickle people when they are vulnerable to attack.
• Quote people who spoke brilliant (or not) words.
• Tell them "Wow you've grown taller!"
• Build up and hype up a nothing thing.
• Mislead others into believing stupid things.
  
• Mess up people's hair.
• Act gangster.
• Scold myself.
• Think and talk in innuendos.
  (EDIT: Not in the malicious sense la. Had people questioning me lol.)
  
• Use weird metaphors.
  
• Cycle in the night or the early mornings where nobody is around.
• Keep everything to myself yet hint that I want to say something at the same time.
• Play 'Hard to get.' (not in the conventional sense.)
• Message people when everybody is supposed to be asleep.
• Lie down in the middle of nowhere.
• Do 'sudden attacks' and shock people.
• Prove people wrong.
• Climb stuff.
• Act all serious when I say lame stuff.
• Act all lame when I say serious stuff.
• Laugh at myself.
• Termenung and let my mind wander.
• Mutter gibberish out of nowhere.
• Start conversations with a weird line.
  
• Sing songs which consists of very weird lyrics.
• Modify well known songs to become songs which consists of very weird lyrics.
• Pretend I cannot see some people. (usually due to my eye level being quite high up.)
• Pretend I'm speaking another language.
• Pretend my wallet is my phone.
• Mess up 'he' and 'she'.
• Mess up 'him' and 'her'.
• (I love to!) Say something smart.

...


Mmh yeah. I am damn weird huh?


Quote of the day:

"When you brought your index finger close to my face I thought you were just gonna poke me. BUT THEN YOU SUDDENLY STRETCHED OUT YOUR FOUR OTHER FINGERS AND SLAPPED ME!"

lol.

Hey.

Your EQ is 153

Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. Seriously though, your whole "Don't Worry, Be Happy" philosophy is really what defines emotional intelligence. You're warm, open, and very optimistic. You know how to act appropriately, even if you don't feel like it. You are a good communicator, and you have little difficulty with personal relationships - even when you're dealing with difficult people. In general, you are successful, capable, together person. You get what you want out of life.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperament Are You?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

You Are "Hey"

You are a bit of a wallflower. You're not a big fan of small talk and pointless conversation. You tend to be more of a listener than a talker. You especially hate talking to strangers. You are independent and very creative. You are good at expressing your thoughts, even if you keep most of them private. Some people may see you as standoffish, but you're really a friendly person. It just takes you a while to warm up.

What Greeting Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.


---

Hmmm... More or less huh?

---

Wah, my EQ so geng.

---

Apparently Blogthings is mainly for girls, LOOOOL!

Tears and Rainbows

Pfft, to think that just one month ago I was on such a high after Dee's party and LOUD!

Now everything is gone! Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! This desolation is slowly gnawing away my sanity! I'm gonna 'JUMP!' since '...THERE'S NOTHING TO LOSE.' Goodbye! :(


Ooh wait, there's Arsenal tonight! :D

---

September beckons. Must start on good note.

*Marks September as Happy Month.*

Hmmm... A friend's birthday lies in the month of September. I asked her what present would she like to have. And hearing my August woes, she said she wants me to have a happy September! Aww?

Being such a good friend I have to oblige kan? Especially if it's something that only I can do wei!

Thus I shall begin Mission September! :D

First and foremost, must mengucapkan beribu-ribu kata-kata thank you yang tidak berbelah bahagi to my park buddies white, black and yellow for hearing me out and listening to my unamusing musings that amusingly, fail to amuse or provide amusement to unamused people even if said very amusingly and with an intent to amuse. :(

Sad kan? It makes me feel like this sometimes:



Why can't they be amused! T__T


Despite that, do not fret! I am on my way to becoming a fat and proper person. (Err... Wait a minute, something doesn't sound quite right here.)

Anyways, I'm already half way to re-becoming a fat and proper person, I just need to get back to being proper, the other half has already been accomplished with distinction! Whoopie! :D


So here's a checklist of what I need to do....

1) Listen to some "I Feel Pretty!"
2) Study about our glorious Malaysia's glamorous past.
3) Prove that E=mc^2 is actually Einstein = Mong Cha Cha.
4) Do a lot of add math!
5) Remember what being human is like!
6) And don't suffer any knee-jerk effects that I read about in Bio!


So... just six pretty simple tasks la! :D

Should be alright by September!



Watch me run.

Blunt Edge.

I somehow always lose my edge when I need it the most.

Yet it sticks out when I need to be blunt.


Meh.


Oh and apparently I'm very intimidating. Hmmm.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

Got that drilled in your system yet, boy?

---

I'm starting to think you are an enigma even to yourself.

---

But throw away that face and keep smiling son, you're a better man that way.

:)

Only you can help yourself...

Inexorable / Weakling.

I think I just staggered myself.

I've never felt this way before!

Running, always running, when are you going to stop running away, boy?

Rehab.

I've been told I should write more stupid stuff.

---

One day, Johnny went to the Manhattan Fish Market which was, weirdly, not in Manhattan but in Mutiara Damansara. He sat down, and waited patiently for his friend, Puppy to arrive.

Two hours thirteen minutes and forty-six seconds passed, no sight of Puppy.

"Damn, he ditched me." Johnny lamented.

Having been stood up multiple times now, he grew restless, and furious.

His attempt to drown his fury in wine and beer failed. As predicted, he instead lost control of himself and suffered a certain degree of amnesia.

"THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT IN THIS WORLDDDD! NONEEE AT ALL! LOOK! EVEN THE SKY IS DARK AND PITCH BLACK!"

"It's the night, Sir, don't be too surprised."

"INFIDELLL! HOW THERE YOU RETORT THE GREAT MAN-WITH-NO-NOSE, VOLDEMORT!? THE SKY IS DARK BECAUSE THERE IS NO HOPE - AND I DON'T CARE IF MANDY MOORE IS SINGING 'ONLY HOPE'! IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF SOME PUNY NIGHT TIME!"

He raised his straw with unmatched vengeance and pointed at the waiter who retorted him, giving the waiter a 'killing face' that struck fear down his spine.

"ABRA KADABRA ALAKAZAM!"

The waiter, stunned by the gibberish spoken by Johnny, tried to decipher it...

"A BRA! CUT A BRA! ALLAH, CURSE THEM!"

... An all out war broke lose.

---

........... But, I digress, seeing how my wild my imagination can get sometimes.

Without further ado, enter 'Rehab!'

... No, not Amy Winehouse.

---

My parents always tell me that I'm a computer addict who cannot pass a normal day without touching the computer.

And for now, they are right.

Seeing as the almighty trial exams are coming up real soon. I thought it's about time I start my rehabilitation.

According to my mother... My 'condition' began right after my UPSR. Seeing every exam after UPSR as just mere formality, I started my devil-may-care attitude with my academics, beginning with a worse than usual final exam results and now culminating with near-chronic laziness.

Before that, I was quite disciplined with my computer usage. Averaging no more than two hours a day.

Now, replicating that today would be near impossible.

But I shall promise myself, that I shall only do the bare minimum required on my computer and spend more time elsewhere!

Even though nowadays I don't play games on my computer anymore, I'm still clocking too much time in front of the computer. :(

But, I have now awakened to the fact that I can find entertainment elsewhere too and not need the computer as much!

(and this is the part where my mum goes: 'A bit late right, boy...')

E.g.: Piano, sports, and of course studies! (okay maybe that's not really entertainment.)

---

It pains me to say this... But...






Sorry computer, I'm filing a divorce!

Got To Open My Eyes to Everything.

I always get good dreams (possibly thanks to my imagination and creativity).

And it really sucks to wake up to life sometimes.


---


You can dream all you want.

But one day you have to come back down to earth.

Life is not a dream.

Dreams will always be better than life.

But unfortunately, we live in life, not dreams.

Idealism is the painter of a prettier picture.

Realism is the merciless truth of the world.

And in truth, I hate this world we live in.

Yet, I am an idealist who aspires to change the world.



---


Pameran Kerjaya is full of shit. I don't want to elaborate. It makes me boil over.


---


Thank you to the three stooges for trying to cheer me up today.

The weird lala cheerleader, the annoying black kid and the geeky girl.

:)


---


I hate how tactless I can be sometimes.

Flour.

You know, there was once a very wise saying....

"The amount of flour you have on your body at the end of a surprise ambush to commemorate your last appearance in a weekly meet is directly proportional to how much people love you."

-Some very wise guy.

*Ahem.*

Based on that theory...






Wow, I'm so loved. Hahahahhaha!



Anyway, here's some other pictures from our last meet of the year.

Coming back from barbecuing marshmallows.

Promptly blindfolded and abducted by the juniors, to form some weird strange line. Of course, prior to that, we were led into a non-existent maze filled with 'CAREFUL GOT DRAIN!'s and 'WATCH OUT FOR THE FLOWER POT!'s. Before finally settling down in some weird strange line, forcing us to hold hands with another person (nooo!).

And then, perhaps predictably, splashing us with flour! And some water too iirc.

He doesn't look like he minds though. I didn't too!

Them girls taking their happy picture. Ah, girls and camera.... Symbiosis-like.

Then, each junior AJK handed a souvenir that consisted of (strangely) a lollipop and a toothbrush to a senior AJK! (And I thought I had white enough teeth already!)

Lajreena baked cupcakes for us! Wheee, food! Damn, you all shouldn't have wasted so much flour on us la, could have had more cupcake!

And finally, just to remind them who's boss until the end of this year.... /gg


We had them pull their ears. WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!



Thanks juniors, really enjoyed the day. Sorry I didn't prepare a speech though. Heh. :D

Maybe It's Called Ambition

So what do you want to be next time?

---

You know, I'm always stumped by that question.

I've never really thought too deep about it and always thought I'll automatically find out by the time my high school years end.

Well, it's ending soon, and my head isn't any clearer.

One thing's for sure though:


I want to be an inspiration.

Oh July.

It's the eve of your last day!

As you perish into my memories and into my past,

I hope you will still be at the 'Recycle Bin' of my brain, able to be restored and not forever gone.


While it has been an exhausting month, it has also been an exquisite month. I haven't had such an exhilarating month for years now. Wow, that's three 'ex's' in a row!


Tomorrow marks the ultimate July Day: Hari Kokurikulum. May your blessings be with me.

Thank you July for all the memories you've brought me.


We are almost ready.




Bring it on.

Dear July,

Oh how I love you and dread you at the same time.

It's funny how in the middle of such a packed month, I still felt very inanimate. I still felt I needed a new lease of life.

Yet, in hindsight, I'm very pleased with how much I've grown in my mind and heart.


Something I didn't particular like and found a burden eventually turned out quite fun.

While some people I liked for a long time somehow seemed less likable.

Some things I used to do seemed very inappropriate all of a sudden.



I guess it's true when they say when you've been around for too long, you see the ugly side of things.



--------


LOUD! seemed fun! Sadly due to my emcee duties I couldn't immerse myself in the atmosphere.

Being emcee had it's own element of fun though, so maybe I shouldn't complain! Haha.

Some pictures!

Steph and me, doing my standard pose of the night.

Foreground: Steph. Background: Me!

Trying to get the crowd excited.



Brave kid, not bad dancer too, did Michael Jackson moves. Was runner up to...

CRAZY DANCER! Jonathan from DJ if I remember correctly.
Just form 3 too!
He's Malaysia's Aiden Davies!

Winner of Pre-LOUD! Blogging Competition: Diong Mei Yih.

Steph and Me acknowledging the people.

---

All in all, a very fun and memorable night.

I'd take this advantage to thank a few people.

Firstly, Stephanie Ong for being my co-emcee and bearing with my nonsense!

Secondly, the rest of the Ongs for lending their house to be our practice place.

Not forgetting, Jared Ang and Lydia Ong, who were our tutors and predecessors.

Last but not least, God and my fellow brothers who prayed for me and gave me strength.



Thank you all.

Tell me tell me can you feel the pressure?

Everybody live, like it's the last day you will ever live.

I think my body is failing me.

I'm sore all over.

But when I see the others giving their all even in rehearsals, I feel it is only fair that I do the same.

So body, don't bail on me yet!


The punishing schedule is finally taking it's toll on me eh?



Irrelevant: Somehow I feel the egg is breaking soon.