Tuesday, November 6, 2007

To poke, or not to poke?

I'm amazed after walking in One Utama for hours, I couldn't find a clock.

Sitting around, waiting for time to pass... I finally left for home at 7 15.

This is the worst Last Day of School ever.


After that chaotic confrontation, I left that dreaded area and wandered around the mall for 100 minutes or so. I dare say this was the first time ever in my teenage life I felt like crying not watching a tv show.

How silly of me.... I sat down in front of the shop she used to work at for half an hour or so, hoping her lovely face would just pop out from time to time and notice me. But, of course, she wasn't there, since I certainly knew she already stopped.

What was I hoping for anyway? That she'll sit down and talk with me? I wonder if I even had the guts to do that.

What I was hoping was like hoping for a star to fall down. (Sorry, I just watched Stardust.)


What happened...?

Some calamity struck, I suppose.

Friendships that have been built up for many years... Is it going to shatter just like this?

Tell me what the fuck is this bullshit.


I wonder if it's even right for me to feel this way. I'm not even involved. So why the heck do I care?

I asked myself.

But, I managed to answer myself.

"I'm not involved." ... This statement is FALSE.


I am your friend. I am his friend. I am her friend. I am their friend.

As a friend, I can't bear myself to see this happening.

Whichever side is at fault, does it matter?

I don't know about you. I'm not going to just let this bond we've forged get destroyed just like that.

It's wrong.

It's wrong in EVERY SINGLE WAY.

Rethink about this please.

It's not worth losing friends for trivial matters like this.


Even so, I'll be kidding you if I could say I wasn't the slightest bit annoyed.

I know I can't force anyone to tell anything to me at any given time.

But aren't we friends? The best of friends?

Don't I deserve some trust?

I see now that I don't really deserve any of yours....

I'm not angry. I'm upset. And regretful.

I didn't spend enough time to earn your trust. I didn't work hard enough for it. I didn't care as much as I could have.

So. You can put part of the blame on me.

No, that's not right... I'll put part of the blame on myself.


I know this is not something anybody wished for...

But it's not the end....

It can still be saved.

We are teenagers.... this is the time of our lives.....

You need not listen to my random grunts in my blog... It is your life... and It's totally up to you to decide how to live your own life.... I am nobody in a life where you decide what you do. However, I'll be upset and rather disappointed if you chose to walk away...

In a nutshell...

Live life to the fullest.

Live life without regret.

Live life without needing to look back and say "I wish I had."

When there is no path, make one of your own.

When there is an obstacle, kick away that obstacle and move forward...

You don't need a reason...

Just... Live life.

If anyone brightened up the day after this incident... It's yongying. You have my thanks.

Oh, and

I hate being in the middle.

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