Monday, August 31, 2009

Daily Mail, UK.

---

A similar scenario followed the Darren Fletcher foul on Andrey Arshavin in the 39th minute - the irrelevant and inaccurate comment of 'He got the ball' was the commentators' opinion from their first viewing.

Dean, who, of course, only gets one look, had doubts and so allowed play to continue. Of course, all of us now know a penalty should have been awarded but I felt Dean earned the slice of luck which meant that the unfortunate Arshavin scored soon after.

In the 59th minute Dean had no doubts over the penalty for Manchester United when Manuel Almunia made a poor decision to throw himself at Wayne Rooney.

Close examination of the video actually shows Rooney went to ground before any contact but a penalty was the correct decision.

Oh Did I Disappoint You?

Yes you did, you shouldn't think that way.

Then you were young and unafraid.

Hearts will grow though having to bend,
Leaving behind all things in the end.

With the wind you go.

---


Been having some bad dreams lately. Mmhhh.

---

Frequently asked questions:

What's with the turtleneck?
Err, so I can hide in my shell when I need to la.

Liqi, you very cold tonight is it?
Yeah, I very cool. :D

Liqi, not hot meh?
You're only afraid of what's hotter than you...
*Clara jumps in*
OHHH SO LIQI YOU'RE AFRAID OF ME LAA! :D:D
Ya, afraid of your 4-inch heels. =='

....


Your face reeks of emotion.
Cindy, that's my line.


---

Happy Birthday to Zhen Wei the black kid and Happy Merdeka!

And Happy Belated Birthday Andrea!

Innuendo.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

SORROW!

I have found the meaning of ultimate despair.









B-key. What are you doing?

Uhh wait, you snapped?

...

YOU SNAPPED?!


NOOOoOoOooOO!

Now it's just sitting limply there. =="



Oh and the night sky has been quite brilliant lately.


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Melodies of Life.

Seventeen years feels like a long time.

Yet it's scary how little we know of.

There is just so much more out there in Life for you to stay grounded.

World, I am setting off to know you now.



There's nothing to hide from and no place to hide.
Just lift your chins up and make that stride.

There are some days where tears will be shed.
And some that will paint the skies and the Earth red.

But through it all.
The rise and fall.

I'll be the muse and the bard of my life.
Singing and whistling through all my strife.

This is the story of my life.


.... Err sorry feeling a little poetic today.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Life Beyond You.

*snap*

Huh?

...

Delete my photo!

Uhh.. Why?

Cuz I don't look pretty!

Hahaha, your normal face kan!

Nooo... People think I'm very pretty one.

Oh my God, who? I need to talk to them.

No! You see ah... People actually think I'm very pretty one, so you must delete that picture nowww! NOWWW!

No, I'm going to prove to the world they were right all along before you deceived them!

NOOO, at least let me see la! If pretty then I won't delete.

Err then you'll surely delete, so cannot.

EH!

*snaps another picture*

WAHHHHH!

DELETEEE!

Yes, this one I sure will delete, even I also scared!

DELEETTEEEEEE!!!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Game on.


[Reporter Mode: On]

This Saturday, Manchester United will face off against Arsenal at Old Trafford in what is expected to be a thrilling encounter between the two English Premier League giants.

Both teams were in scintillating form the previous week, with Arsenal and Manchester United dispatching Portsmouth and Wigan respectively with imperious displays of attacking flair.

Yesterday, Arsenal put in another tidy display to send a message out to their archrivals by dismantling Celtic 5-1 on aggregate in their UEFA Champions League qualifier.


The game on Saturday promises to be a mouth-watering clash and will be one to savour for every football fan around the globe.

[Reporter Mode: Off]

[Fan Mode: On]

Watch out Manchester United, or you're gonna get your Arse on FIRE! (lol.)



SILENCE THE DEVILS!

COME ON YOU GUNNERS!

(Uhh, I felt extremely kiddy writing this. :( )

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

(:

Sometimes... Running is not how you solve problems.

Heh. Should have figured that out earlier kan?

Tears and Rainbows

Pfft, to think that just one month ago I was on such a high after Dee's party and LOUD!

Now everything is gone! Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! This desolation is slowly gnawing away my sanity! I'm gonna 'JUMP!' since '...THERE'S NOTHING TO LOSE.' Goodbye! :(


Ooh wait, there's Arsenal tonight! :D

---

September beckons. Must start on good note.

*Marks September as Happy Month.*

Hmmm... A friend's birthday lies in the month of September. I asked her what present would she like to have. And hearing my August woes, she said she wants me to have a happy September! Aww?

Being such a good friend I have to oblige kan? Especially if it's something that only I can do wei!

Thus I shall begin Mission September! :D

First and foremost, must mengucapkan beribu-ribu kata-kata thank you yang tidak berbelah bahagi to my park buddies white, black and yellow for hearing me out and listening to my unamusing musings that amusingly, fail to amuse or provide amusement to unamused people even if said very amusingly and with an intent to amuse. :(

Sad kan? It makes me feel like this sometimes:



Why can't they be amused! T__T


Despite that, do not fret! I am on my way to becoming a fat and proper person. (Err... Wait a minute, something doesn't sound quite right here.)

Anyways, I'm already half way to re-becoming a fat and proper person, I just need to get back to being proper, the other half has already been accomplished with distinction! Whoopie! :D


So here's a checklist of what I need to do....

1) Listen to some "I Feel Pretty!"
2) Study about our glorious Malaysia's glamorous past.
3) Prove that E=mc^2 is actually Einstein = Mong Cha Cha.
4) Do a lot of add math!
5) Remember what being human is like!
6) And don't suffer any knee-jerk effects that I read about in Bio!


So... just six pretty simple tasks la! :D

Should be alright by September!



Watch me run.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Rewrite.

I've decided.

It'll remain in memories.

Foresight I have none.

But I think it's right.

Forward.

The Life of A Fighter.

Imagine this:


You're a gladiator.

You walk into the arena, anxious, but prepared to face your opponent.

After a long wait, he (got female gladiator one ah? ==") finally appears.

"Intimidating indeed." You thought to yourself after hearing the whispers about him.

But, you're not going to go down without a fight, no?

Staring eye to eye, you two walk in circles with a constant locus from one another.

And soon, the majestic gong sounds, signifying the start of a battle.

Blows were exchanged. Every single one fierce and violent, but all missed, were dodged or were blocked.

You were holding up pretty well.

But as time went on, you realized you were losing ground.

Your opponent is faster, stronger and more agile.

His technique is more refined and his reflexes are instinctive.

You were left chasing shadows, barely even evading his attacks, let alone going on the offensive.

And not long after that. He landed his first blow - A fierce swipe from his blade.

It hurt.

It hurt extremely badly.

You were already fighting a losing battle, but now, with this injury, wouldn't it be impossibility?

Your body was bleeding profusely, but your mind was sane.

Your survival instincts were tingling, as if requesting you to retreat and surrender.

'Save yourself!' It whispered.



What would you do?

Would you cower and retreat? Surrender and save your soul? Pull out and let your pride as a fighter get tarnished, but survive, live to fight another day? Give up on the treasure that is on offer for the victor and to avoid the undoubted pain that will come?

Or would you press on despite knowing the odds are stacked against you? Persevere despite the excruciating pain inflicted upon you, hoping that an opening, however unlikely, will eventually appear and take your chance, and risk facing pain, malice, mischief, despair and sorrow on the last throw of the dice, all for the treasure that might change your life and end your imprisonment as a gladiator?




They say pride is utterly worthless and that your own life is your greatest treasure.

What says you?


---

"Ignorance is bliss."

Sadly you just don't have ignorant bone in you. You like to guess and you're quite good at it. But sorry, sometimes that bit of intelligence brings you more sorrow than joy.

"Simpletons lead peaceful lives."

Go back to your peaceful slumber, kid.




........



Goddamn August.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Take Me to Your Heart.

Hmmm, it seems that August is Doomsday Month of 2009.

Everywhere I go, it's Doom and Gloom.


For example:

---

I wake up in the morning, there was no electricity.

Doom and gloom.

I proceed downstairs and turn on my computer. Then I remember there was no electricity. I beremo-emoan and stare at the black empty monitor.

Doom and Gloom.

I got back upstairs to sleep. Remembered there was no electricity, and thus there was no fan. So hot!

Doom and Gloom.

I went to prepare some Milo, poured the powder, poured the hot- wait it's not hot! No hot water.

Doom and Gloom.

I go to the toilet. Had a good time sitting down there. And when I felt relieved, I looked to the right. OH MY GOD THERE WAS NO TOILET PAPER!

Doom and Gloom.

(Remind me again why this reminds me of the 'wash your hands too' song? Hahahahha!)

But there's a silver lining to every cloud! I got to study (!!!) since there was no electricity-supplied appliances to distract me! Whoopieeee!

.... Oddish, Gloom, Vileplum and Bellosom.

---

.... Just kidding, the stories above were fiction.

But reaaaally, why is there a dark cloud hovering above August?

Everyone seems to be troubled in one way or another. (Myself very much included, sadly.)


Despair is very much like a whirlpool or quicksand.
The longer you get stuck in it, the deeper trouble you're in.
Thinking sorrowfully only brings about even more sorrowful thinking.
The more 'sorry-s' you give yourself, the sorrier you'll feel.

You have to take control of your life and its troubles!
You have to make an effort to rise beyond the sadness and release yourself, not dwell on the past and drown yourself.
Think deeply, is it worth continuing being sad? Life goes on, man!
Since you've had some bad days, why not lets just try to make the coming days happy days!


There's a silver lining to every cloud.

I've had some torrid time for a few days now, but I think I'm slowly regaining my balance.

You can do it too!


So please ah people. August has claimed enough victims liau.

Please be:

"WAH TODAY SUNSHINE SO BRILLIANT! GONNA BE GOOD DAY MAN! LETS JOM BERSERONOK! I AM THE PAPA OF ALL HAPPINESS! ^^V"

Instead of:

"Oh my, the weather is vegetably and horribly terrible today. The painful, cruel UV-rays are striking against my skin. Those violent things. Ah, I better hide in my house."

And not like this too:

"OH DEAR GOD, I'M GONNA DIE. THE SUNSHINE, IT'S AN INVITATION TO HELL, THE BURNING RAYS.... I KNOW IT! YOU'RE THRUSTING ME TO THE ENDLESS VOID OF DESPAIR! SO CRUEL THAT YOU USE SUCH A ILLUMINATING LIGHT AS A FACADE TO LURE ME INTO THE BLAZING DEPTHS OF HADES! NO WAY! me gonna go emo first. ciao."


Please la, how old are you? 17?

... Oh, I am.


---


Hmmm, it somehow feels like I didn't write this.... :(

Goddamn August.

---

And 'light bulb' ah, don't worry, it's okay. Actually it's thank you.

If you weren't there, we wouldn't have been able to see each other la.

Since we two so black!

Hahahahha. Cheerio. : )

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dear God,

If You're resting somewhere above the clouds on your ornamented throne, please hear my prayer.

I pray that every single sentient life form that has fallen down will have the courage to stand up and walk this world again.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Blunt Edge.

I somehow always lose my edge when I need it the most.

Yet it sticks out when I need to be blunt.


Meh.


Oh and apparently I'm very intimidating. Hmmm.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Some old stuff.

This is very old, but I somehow re-read and found it quite funny so just to show my newer readers! /heh

















Better than The Dark Knight. Trust me.

Here's a brief synopsis:


Faced with the tragedy of having his parents eloping, Ah Keong (David Kuok) enters a state of severe depression. He one day meets Tai Kok (Kok Weng) and is astounded by his name which literally meant Big Cock.

Tai Kok introduces him to his triad gang, led by Tiny (Dong Quan) who uses his appearance to fool others and incapacitate them when his opponents are off guard. This impresses Ah Keong and Ah Keong vows to join his triad, The Karaoke Gang.

As Ah Keong was patrolling down the Neway corridor, he is bemused by a loud, unimpressive singing voice coming out of room 34. Thinking it was his chance to stamp his authority on his new ground, he shouted with a grizzly voice: "NOOOOOOOOOB!"

Immediately, he was greeted by the door slamming open and hitting his face. Adjusting his spectacles, Ah Keong was met with nothing. Shocked, he scratched his head before something stomped his feet. He looked down as he yelped for pain, searching for the source. Ah Keong then sees the blazing eyes of Dai Ka Jie (Kar Mun), and is startled.

Dai Ka jie's friends, Yi Ka Jie (Shing Yi) and Edward Cullen (Jou Ee) then steps out of the room, wondering what caused the fuss before introducing themselves.

Ah Keong was laughing hysterically at Jou Ee's gang name and faints spontaneously.

A pair of superimbacrazywtf high pitched voices woke Ah Keong up and he found out that his spectacles broke. Experiencing a slight amnesia, he sometimes calls himself Tony.

The Ka Jies spot him and orders him to clean up the room. He enters Room 34 and sees two drunkards playing scissors-paper-stone non stop.

The manager Yeng Yeng [This means shadow shadow in cantonese] (Joel) sees the open-mouthed Ah Keong and introduces him to Lion (Li Qi) and Puppy (Jung Kiang). In typical triad fashion, this prompts Lion to wager Ah Keong's hair in their tiebreaking scissors-paper-stone game with Puppy.

Puppy retaliates by saying he'll wager something else, something even more valuable (to him anyway la.) - Ah Keong's pubic hair. Lion laughs and shouts "THAT'S JUST LIKE YOU, GAY!"

Ah Keong gets afraid and his Tony persona takes over. He proclaims: "HI I'M IRONMAN!" before running out of the room.

He barges into CEO Ngan Zi [Silver kid/money in cantonese] (Zi Chuen) and his two girlfriends Soprano (Jun Yen) and Alto (Soonyi). The two girls sang (shouted) loudly in unison when faced with the threat of Tony. However, Tony threatens to utilize his pewpewlaz0rz should they sing a pitch higher before fleeing Neway. Screaming "BATMAN YOU SUCK! IRONMAN RULEZZ!" on the way out.

The rest were stunned.

To be continued...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Out of the Traps.


Everton 1
- 6 Arsenal



I AM IN THE CLOUD NINE OF SEVENTH HEAVEN!

Keep it up, Gunners!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Driver. / It's back!

I hate passengers.

...



No! Not those that sit in my car when I drive! The ones I meant are people who do not contribute to the collective cause of a community.

And how about a perfect example from an incident today!

---

Shortgirl: Class, please arrange the tables now, exams are gonna start soon.
Class: *Grumble*

(5 minutes later.)

Shortgirl: CLASS, SERIOUSLY, COME ON!
Class: *Grumble*

(Some people were already taking up arms and helping move tables and chairs around, while others sat there in a daze minding their own business, complaining, and talking, and grumbling, but not bothering to lend a helping hand or even arrange their own tables, instead letting others 'help' them.)

---

That's who I meant.

Now seriously, would it be the death of you to at least help yourself to do your own things? Instead of constantly lamenting about how your life could have/should have been much better with your friends, how about you help your classmates who are doing work, for not just themselves but ironically, also for you?

How about you do your own part?

It might be too much (oh yeahhh) to expect you to help others, but for God's sake can't you do your own stuff? Have you no tingling sense of guilt at all to let others labour for you?



-------


On a side note....



ARSENAL IS BACK TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wahahhahahahahaa, hopefully my trials won't suicide because of this. .____.

Gooner 'Til I Die!

Bring on 2009/2010!

Friday, August 14, 2009

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.

"Life drags you down and if you do not make the effort to rise above it you are being punched right and left, so much that you do not even notice any more."

-Arsene Wenger.



Got that drilled in your system yet, boy?

---

I'm starting to think you are an enigma even to yourself.

---

But throw away that face and keep smiling son, you're a better man that way.

:)

Only you can help yourself...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

JULY'S DDAY.

(Originally written on 13 August 2009)

It's a tad late (okay fine, very late), but I think it's my responsibility to do my KRSians justice by blogging about our DDAY.

---

31st July 2009.



Waking up in the morning, you'd imagine that after doing this for five years now, I'd be pretty prepared and comfortable with what I was facing in my head.

That's not too far wide of the mark. However, an error the previous day caused me to fret and worry about today: I forgot to get the metal pieces/horseshoes that I was supposed to get the previous night.

One Utama opens at around 10, so my best bet is wait and have my dad collect it later for me. But of course, to say I did not fear I couldn't make it in time would be a gross understatement.

Waking up at five o' clock in the morning has become customary throughout the years, and this year was no different.


Going to school, I was brimming with confidence. We've prepared very well and for very long. I' don't mean to be arrogant, but considering our preparations (and pedigree), anything but a one-two finish at the end of the day will be regarded as a major disappointment and deemed a failure.

First was the standard lining up and uniform examination, followed by speeches by the principal and the YDP PIBG.

There were some performances by the self-defense art associations, the 24-season drums and Blitzerz. And then a break, and then the competition began, first with the standard lintas-hormat.

Fortunately everything came out well and we went through the routine with few/no slip-ups. The horseshoes were obtained in time, everybody remembered and executed their parts. They kept the promise of being focused and serious for the whole morning. And that was all I needed from them.

And the time came to announce the winners!

Best Club: Cheerleading Club! (National champions!)
Best Game: Badminton! (MSSS silver I think)
Best Uniform: KRS! (WOOT!)

6th was: Pandu Puteri!
5th was: Kadet Polis!
4th was: PBSM!
3rd was: PENGAKAP!


Cue the ecstasy and jubilation. Everyone in green was already jumping around. We've managed our one-two, leaving me relieved, happy and proud. KRS has won, and what remained was just the formality of going up the stage to collect the two awards.

2nd was: KRS (B)

(My little boys and girls couldn't stop screaming by now hahahahah!)

Choong Yean walks up and takes the hamper! I stand up and get ready, next up is me!

(I remember being berated for doing this by a certain cheerleader that offers you food and then thanks God when you decline her offer! Hmmm.)

Yeah, regardless, I signaled for Choong Yean to accompany me when the announcer announced:

1st place: KRS (A)

(Even more screams from the little boys and girls.)


Winning the one-two was great! But the icing on the cake though, was the victory for the best uniform award! We've lost for two years now, so taking it back was really special!


Ahh... I guess this caps off a great KRS year perfectly. Hopefully more of the same will continue with campfire, KAKA and annual camp.


Sorry, not feeling very funny today, so can't make you all laugh with my absurdity. Hahahah!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Misunderstood?

Sometimes I find the actions of certain teachers very unfathomable.

Today, I was walking off from class during transition before a teacher came in. I was heading for the toilet due to some stomach pain (has been happening a lot lately too) and unfortunately, without a pass.

I walked and walked.

First sign of danger: Puan Zubaidah walks out from her class.

"It should be alright, just greet her and walk away!" I thought to myself.

I greeted her, and tried to further the distance between the two of us.

But she called out.

"Nak pergi mana?"

"Nak ke tandas, cikgu." I replied.

"Mana pas kamu?"

".... Maaf, tak ada cikgu dalam kelas."

"Pergi dapatkan pas dulu."

"Ya, cikgu, terima kasih."


Damn, that was trouble. But I don't begrudge her one bit. She was just doing her job as per the school's protocol. Besides, she wasn't being hostile.

So I trudged back the other way of the corridor. Ah I spotted Teacher X.

I went up to her and asked if she could lend me his/her pass!

I was thinking to myself, he/she is such a well liked teacher, surely he/she wouldn't mind lending his/her pass for me for a while!

Oh how wrong was I.

Despite his/her reputation of being a good teacher and a generally well-liked person. He/she would not lend me his/her pass. For the reason being he/she has to go off now.

I offered to return his/her pass to wherever he/she is headed to now, but to no avail.

He/she was steadfast and stubborn to not lend it to me.



And that is infuriating and unfathomable.

You would think, with the school placing such importance on discipline nowadays that you have to have a pass regardless of where you're going, so long as you're leaving the threshold of your class, that teachers would be willing to lend their passes to students who have no teachers in their class, not least those that really really need to go off.


BUT NOOOOOOOOOO! He/she won't let me.

Luckily for me though, Puan Karamjit was nice enough to lend me her name tag, an 'alternative pass' as she puts it.

And then there's another case.

Teachers who don't bring passes, AT ALL!

HOW THE HECK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO USE THE WASHROOM ('LEGALLY') WHEN WE REALLY NEED TO THEN?

With passes at a premium (one pass per teacher), I really cannot understand why they would choose to leave it on their desks and run the risk of letting their students get caught for supposedly 'pontenging class.' And then they'll go on and whine about how the student shouldn't have left class in the first place.


OH PLEASE LA, WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO, YOU HAVE TO GO!


Where got people like this one!

"TEACHER I WANT TO GO TOILET, ABSOLUTELY NEED TO!"

"No, I have no pass, you'll have to hold it in for two more periods."

"BUT TEACHER, WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH NEEDS TO GO IMMEDIATELY!"

"I don't care, hold your horses right there, for 80 minutes."

"TEACHER, THIS HORSE IS THREATENING TO STAMPEDE ALL OVER US SOON!"

"Then that's too sad. Go hide in a corner now."

"TEACHER, WHY YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU TOOK MY HEART, SHATTERED IT WITH YOUR MERCILESS WORDS INTO MANY THOUSAND PIECES, THRUST ME TO THE ENDLESS VOID OF DARKNESS AND LEFT ME TO ROT THERE, WAITING FOR THE TOUCH OF ICE COLD DEATH TO CLAIM ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL? I FEEL LIKE A CASTRATED MAN GASPING FOR HELP AS THE EXECUTIONER TRIES TO CASTRATE ME ANOTHER TIME! THIS FEELING, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND THREE POINT ONE FOUR ONE FIVE NINE TWO (pi) BIT! IT'S ENDLESS SUFFERING FOR ETERNITY!"

"Shush. Enough ranting, I have to teach pendidikan moral now."

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE A MORAL TEACHER! YOU'VE JUST INDUCED EVEN MORE SORROW INTO MY ALREADY-SHATTERED HEART, THREATENING TO SWALLOW ME INTO THE VERY DEPTHS OF THE ABYSS OF SORROW! OH NO I HAVE TO GOOOOOOOO!"

*Student goes to a corner and emo.*

*Classes smells like something some time later.*




I don't say this much, but seriously, WTF?


p/s: Puan Leow teaches physics infinite times better than Mr. Ravi.

Inexorable / Weakling.

I think I just staggered myself.

I've never felt this way before!

Running, always running, when are you going to stop running away, boy?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Telepathy.

DISCLAIMER: THE STORY BELOW IS PURE FICTION, ANY NAMES THAT ARE FAMILIAR IS PURE COINCIDENCE.

Telepathy, whether you're a believer or not, exists to a certain degree....

Or so some wise guy said.

Just so you know he's the same person who said this:

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
A lame Joke a day keeps depression at bay!"

And something about flour that I don't remember....

Anyway this was a story about four people:

And so it goes...

---

Kumar, Salleh and Najed are good friends and classmates studying in the unglamorous School of Hemahtinggi in New Yolk town, near Beijing city, Malaysia.


One fateful day, Cik Santaclaus Rohini was enthusiastically teaching her students her favourite and most proficient subject, English in Science and Technology (EST).

Cik Rohini asked a question,

"Class listen. No, class, shush, listen to me, class, listen! Why when... CLASS! Why is it that when a lot of people go in a submarine, the submarine sinks to a depth of-"

A bewildered Kumar instinctively raised his hand.

Cik Rohini then said: "Class, this student here is really good, he raised his hands before I finished my, class listen, question. Class, you must learn from Kumar, class, he is a good student..."

Kumar: "Erm, teacher....."

Rohini: "Hold on, don't interrupt... Class, you must always react fast! Yes, Kumar?"

Kumar: "Is it because the submarine too heavy?"

Rohini: "NO, IT'S BECAUSE IT'S A SUBMARINE AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!"


*Silence...*


Rohini: "Class, wasn't that funny?"


*Silence...Silence...Silence...Silence...Silence...*


Kumar: "Teacher. Can I go to the toilet please?"

Rohini: "Yes boy, you may go wherever you want. Cik Rohini is powerless to stop you, but please be careful and watch out for the discipline teachers and our new principal. He is very strictkkkk! Hold on boy, I think it's best you don't go yet, you might be troubled if you get caught."

Kumar: "But teacher, I can't stand it anymore, even the great king from tamadun Mesopotamia, Gilgamesh of Uruk, goes to the toilet. So does the son of the Sun God, Amon Re of tamadun Mesir Purba! And the list goes on! We need toilet!"

Rohini: "Oh... Ermm... Okay. Did you know toilet last time was just a hole dug into the ground! Look how technology helps! CLASS, KEEP QUIET!"

Kumar: "Teacher you got any questions?"

Rohini: "No."

Kumar: "You understand?"

Rohini: "Yes."

Kumar: "Then I know I got to go already."


Kumar quickly rushes off out of the class. HOWEVER. SHOCKINGLY!!!! Kumar stopped once away from sight, gave a smirk and said... "So easy...", and walked slowly, really slowly towards the toilet, wasting as much time as possible.

Cik Rohini was quick to continue her class, already asking another question. This time, Salleh was picked to answer.


Rohini: "What is the meaning of fatigue?"


Salleh answered in his usual squeaky voice.


Salleh: "The meaning of Physics? Mmmmhh.... Come from the Greek words "Physikos" that meant the study of nature."

Rohini: "Meant? Do you mean it is no longer the study of nature? What is it now? The study of furniture? And boy, you really have to brush up your English okay?"

Salleh: "Sorry, my language in England is not really good.... Can I go to the toilet? I got perut sakit."

Rohini: "Okay, go go go..."

Najed: "Allah, gila betultu, tentu pergi 'pak toh' dengan Kumar!"

Rohini: "English please? It's EST period."

Najed: "YALAH, EST UNTUK ENGLISH SANGAT TOUGH! BAHASA LEBIH BAIK!"


Meanwhile... Salleh walked out of class. To his surprise, he found Kumar still walking ever so slowly towards the toilet and caught up in like... two steps?


Najed: "AIYO CIKGU. GILA BETULLAH! SAYA PUN TAK PERCAYA TAPI SAYA NAMPAK MEREKA DUA PEGANG TANGAN! CIKGU BIAR SAYA PERGI CHECK!"

Rohini: "Betulkah? Itu perkara serius! Pengetua will be very furious! Okay baik, saya berikan tanggungjawab ini kepadamu."


And so, Najed rushed off as well. Like Salleh, he caught up in no time with the duo. The three of them sighed at the same time and sighed, whispering to one another: "Now that was easy!"

They headed to the toilet. And finally reached there after a 10 minutes long walk. There they chatted while pissing away.


Kumar: "Eh our teacher. Not so bright la."

Salleh: "Ya, she are a bit not smart."

Najed: "GILA BETULLAH!"

Kumar: "I hope she pisses in her pants."

Salleh: "Pisses in her pants? Mmmmh.... I very hopes so too."

Najed: "GILA BETULLAH!"


*Meanwhile*


Ah Beng: "CIK ROHINI, YOUR PANTS IS WET!"


[Thus ends the story of the four who telepathically pissed in their pants together.]


*****In conclusion, telepathy, to a certain degree, exists.



THE END.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Rehab.

I've been told I should write more stupid stuff.

---

One day, Johnny went to the Manhattan Fish Market which was, weirdly, not in Manhattan but in Mutiara Damansara. He sat down, and waited patiently for his friend, Puppy to arrive.

Two hours thirteen minutes and forty-six seconds passed, no sight of Puppy.

"Damn, he ditched me." Johnny lamented.

Having been stood up multiple times now, he grew restless, and furious.

His attempt to drown his fury in wine and beer failed. As predicted, he instead lost control of himself and suffered a certain degree of amnesia.

"THERE IS NO HOPE LEFT IN THIS WORLDDDD! NONEEE AT ALL! LOOK! EVEN THE SKY IS DARK AND PITCH BLACK!"

"It's the night, Sir, don't be too surprised."

"INFIDELLL! HOW THERE YOU RETORT THE GREAT MAN-WITH-NO-NOSE, VOLDEMORT!? THE SKY IS DARK BECAUSE THERE IS NO HOPE - AND I DON'T CARE IF MANDY MOORE IS SINGING 'ONLY HOPE'! IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF SOME PUNY NIGHT TIME!"

He raised his straw with unmatched vengeance and pointed at the waiter who retorted him, giving the waiter a 'killing face' that struck fear down his spine.

"ABRA KADABRA ALAKAZAM!"

The waiter, stunned by the gibberish spoken by Johnny, tried to decipher it...

"A BRA! CUT A BRA! ALLAH, CURSE THEM!"

... An all out war broke lose.

---


........... But, I digress, seeing how my wild my imagination can get sometimes.

Without further ado, enter 'Rehab!'

... No, not Amy Winehouse.


---


My parents always tell me that I'm a computer addict who cannot pass a normal day without touching the computer.

And for now, they are right.

Seeing as the almighty trial exams are coming up real soon. I thought it's about time I start my rehabilitation.

According to my mother... My 'condition' began right after my UPSR. Seeing every exam after UPSR as just mere formality, I started my devil-may-care attitude with my academics, beginning with a worse than usual final exam results and now culminating with near-chronic laziness.

Before that, I was quite disciplined with my computer usage. Averaging no more than two hours a day.

Now, replicating that today would be near impossible.

But I shall promise myself, that I shall only do the bare minimum required on my computer and spend more time elsewhere!

Even though nowadays I don't play games on my computer anymore, I'm still clocking too much time in front of the computer. :(

But, I have now awakened to the fact that I can find entertainment elsewhere too and not need the computer as much!

(and this is the part where my mum goes: 'A bit late right, boy...')

E.g.: Piano, sports, and of course studies! (okay maybe that's not really entertainment.)


---


It pains me to say this... But...






Sorry computer, I'm filing a divorce!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Growing up.

Who I am hates who I've been, and long will that continue as I grow older.

I've been reading some of my old posts. While I recognize my quirky self in them, I sometimes wonder if I really behaved and talked like that in the past?

In hindsight, many of the things I used to hold with high importance now seem childish and foolish. It leaves me noticing that our understanding of the world and its people really scales with maturity.

Perhaps many years from now, or even just next year, I'll look back to past posts and ponder the same thing, thinking how inappropriate some of the things I've said/did are.


---


But growth is a gift from God.

All humans are endowed with it. You and I are no different.

We grew from oblivious infants to energetic children to youthful teenagers and someday we'll grow into elegant ladies and charming gentlemen before finally settling in the role of the doting parents, helping our children grow just as our parents did for us.

And the way we think and our perspective consistently varies as we grow up.


---


Really though, the above is just food for thought.

Do not dwell and mull over it for too long.

The important thing is living in the moment.

The time will come when we are fathers and mothers and grandfathers and grandmothers.

But for now, don't think too far ahead and just live your life as a teenager exploding with youth, exuberance and energy!

After all, time never returns, now's the only chance to live a precarious (and preferably proper) teenage life!

:)



Live life!

So Long, Mr. Long.

"A good teacher is not only a good disciplinarian but also a good entertainer at the same time."

"I've always believed, that what can be said in two words, can be better said in ten."

-Mr. Long, a great teacher and a greater man.


Ah, how funny/cute he looked when he was covering his face in shyness when walking down the path of honour we laid for him...

You may not have taught me before, but your reputation as one of the school's best teachers warrants you a mention!

And you're also the teacher in charge for KRS!

Hope you like the books we bought you. :)

Enjoy your 'unemployed' days!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Self Service.

Thank you to everyone who asked me about my previous post. But honestly, it's no big deal. I just got a little too pissed off. That's all! :D


----


I, being myself, know it when I need help.

I, being myself, and a frequent counselor of others, know that help can only be given if the target allows it.

I, being myself, a frequent counselor of others and through experience, know that sometimes, only I can help myself.



The point I'm trying to make is...



1) You must know when you need help.

Not knowing you're in a bad situation is... bad. Seek help if you will, be a clam if you wish to. But you must know what is happening and what is causing the 'bad situation.' Then only can you solve the problem, either by yourself, or by help from others.



2) You can only help the person in question if he allows you to help him.

If he does not, and rather delve further into the bottomless abyss-like pit called despair, there's not much you can do.

You can throw an extremely long rope down that pit, but a rope has its limits and whether he wants to put his hands on the rope is altogether another question as well.

If you don't catch the analogy and thought I was speaking Spanish....

You can always offer to help someone, but the help you can offer has its own limitations and you won't (and shouldn't) sacrifice too much if he/she does not want your help. Furthermore, whether he/she wants to take up your offer to help him/her is not somethine you can control.



3) But sometimes.... Only you can help yourself.

Your friends can give all the advice in the world, but if you do not advance by yourself, you're still stuck on where you're standing it.

If you suffer from self-induced depression (like I do sometimes), your only saving grace is yourself. Decide what you want to do with yourself.

You can either choose....

a) Continue to emo and show the world what a badass you are, staring straight into their eyes with unholy vengeance when they say 'hi' and giving them the 'killing face.' Then when they ask 'what's wrong?' you coolly reply 'Nothing's happening, everything's fine,' before trudging off to emo somewhere else. (Not very wise.)

Or

b) Climb out from the rut that you dug yourself into by yourself. Embrace the sunshine of the world. Do not frown at the brooding downpour but instead shout 'YAY ME SO HAPPY!' when you see the rainbow that appears after that. (Genius choice.)



The problem lies in self esteem.


Good luck mates!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Got To Open My Eyes to Everything.

I always get good dreams (possibly thanks to my imagination and creativity).

And it really sucks to wake up to life sometimes.


---


You can dream all you want.

But one day you have to come back down to earth.

Life is not a dream.

Dreams will always be better than life.

But unfortunately, we live in life, not dreams.

Idealism is the painter of a prettier picture.

Realism is the merciless truth of the world.

And in truth, I hate this world we live in.

Yet, I am an idealist who aspires to change the world.



---


Pameran Kerjaya is full of shit. I don't want to elaborate. It makes me boil over.


---


Thank you to the three stooges for trying to cheer me up today.

The weird lala cheerleader, the annoying black kid and the geeky girl.

:)


---


I hate how tactless I can be sometimes.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Flour.

You know, there was once a very wise saying....


"The amount of flour you have on your body at the end of a surprise ambush to commemorate your last appearance in a weekly meet is directly proportional to how much people love you."


-Some very wise guy.

*Ahem.*

Based on that theory...






Wow, I'm so loved. Hahahahhaha!



Anyway, here's some other pictures from our last meet of the year.



Coming back from barbecuing marshmallows.


Promptly blindfolded and abducted by the juniors, to form some weird strange line. Of course, prior to that, we were led into a non-existent maze filled with 'CAREFUL GOT DRAIN!'s and 'WATCH OUT FOR THE FLOWER POT!'s. Before finally settling down in some weird strange line, forcing us to hold hands with another person (nooo!).


And then, perhaps predictably, splashing us with flour! And some water too iirc.



He doesn't look like he minds though. I didn't too!



Them girls taking their happy picture. Ah, girls and camera.... Symbiosis-like.




Then, each junior AJK handed a souvenir that consisted of (strangely) a lollipop and a toothbrush to a senior AJK! (And I thought I had white enough teeth already!)



Lajreena baked cupcakes for us! Wheee, food! Damn, you all shouldn't have wasted so much flour on us la, could have had more cupcake!





And finally, just to remind them who's boss until the end of this year.... /gg


We had them pull their ears. WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!



Thanks juniors, really enjoyed the day. Sorry I didn't prepare a speech though. Heh. :D

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Do your part like it should be done.

I'm not feeling particularly talkative. But I just thought I should have a rehash on my oh-so-inspirasi speech I gave to the prefects.

After all they are the ones with the real authority in school.

Hey I'm very aware I'm a nobody in the prefect world, but I do have things to say okay!


*Extract from chatlog*

(17:17) [ .__> ] liqi: i told them:
(17:17) [ .__> ] liqi: in every successful committee or company, there is one extremely vital component that makes or breaks it
(17:17) [ .__> ] liqi: it's called respect.
(17:18) [ .__> ] liqi: now, i'm not asking you to respect your seniors, your teachers or anything, because those things have been repeated to death
(17:18) [ .__> ] liqi: what i'm telling you
(17:18) [ .__> ] liqi: is to respect your uniform.
(17:18) [ .__> ] liqi: not everyone gets to wears this uniform
(17:18) [ .__> ] liqi: so if you wear this uniform, you are a privileged one.
(17:18) [ .__> ] liqi: you have been granted authority and license to change what's wrong and maintain what's right.
(17:19) [ .__> ] liqi: in my five years as a student
(17:19) [ .__> ] liqi: i've seen many prefects
(17:19) [ .__> ] liqi: some extremely efficient and good ones, (ala justin yong)
(17:19) [ .__> ] liqi: and some extremely poor and apathetic ones.
(17:19) [ .__> ] liqi: i wish that will change
(17:19) [ .__> ] liqi: because, in the past, not many of them were actually brave enough to do something about the wrong things that are happening in school. they just didn't care enough.
(17:20) [ .__> ] liqi: i hope you all are different
(17:20) [ .__> ] liqi: i am an old man, i'm leaving this school soon.
(17:20) [ .__> ] liqi: you are young, you can still change this school, for the better. I really wish you all do.
(17:20) [ .__> ] liqi: that's all.



So, this is my parting wish that should I be back few years from now, it'd be a much better place!

Go forth, young ones!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Maybe It's Called Ambition

So what do you want to be next time?

---

You know, I'm always stumped by that question.

I've never really thought too deep about it and always thought I'll automatically find out by the time my high school years end.

Well, it's ending soon, and my head isn't any clearer.

One thing's for sure though:


I want to be an inspiration.