Saturday, April 26, 2008
Hahahaha. Anywaves, twoday I is gonna teech you alls an lasson!
See today's blog title?
I'm implicating one should not judge a book by it's covers.
This "moral value"'s resurgence in my mind began last year.
Remember the craze over the last book of Harry Potter?
Oh, Fred died! DAMN, SNAPE WAS THE PRINCE! OMG SNAPE DIED!! HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN!!?!?!? HE WAS SO HOT FOR 5 SECONDS! BLOODY HELL! WAIT THAT'S RON'S LINE! AH GOD DAMN IT! OH I MEANT ALLAH DAMN IT!
Yeah, putting that aside. I didn't buy the book. I borrowed it from Mel.
Lalala, so the long awaited day came where she would kindly lend me her book, the book that I've been longing for.... 3 days?
I got to school early. Heart beating rapidly. I utilized my otherwise insufficient scientific knowledge to deduce that my arteries are under high pressure, atrium and ventricles working vigorously, all from the immense feeling of anticipation that I was drenched in. [Oh the drama.]
The moment came. My best friend for one (or maybe two) seconds arrived into the classroom. I instinctively stood up. My victory is here. My mind was already wandering in the magical world of Harry Potter.... Questions such as.... "How fat has Hagrid gotten?" and "How many cm has Dumbledore's beard grown?" shrouded my thoughts. Then the ultimate question came to mind...
"Has Voldemort grown a nose yet?" My hands were shaking in excitement.
However, as I extended my arms... All hope was lost... My hope, fragile like a piece of glass, fell onto the floor, shattering, drowning into the deepest abyss of sorrow, forever trapped in an immense, endless void of darkness. All hope was lost. What was left, was absolute despair.
The book Melanie handed me with a grin, was the sixth book. I was shocked. I suddenly felt the power of 70 Megawatts going through my body, swiftly destructing all the "Happy cells" and leaving me with a new hairdo - An afro.
I wanted to hit back at Melanie.
"YOU MOFO I SAID THE LAST BOOK!!! TOOT LALALLA TOOOT BLABLABLA HOWDY. MAMA TOOT!"
Alas, it did not happen as I managed to keep my composure. [No the above thought has actually never crossed my mind, it's all for the comical effect.]
I reluctantly smiled. Staring at the book's cover, I said: "Mel, this is the sixth book? See? That's Dumbledore and Harry playing in the playground of fire, happily waving their wands around and dancing gayly!"
Then she spoke the words of wisdom... And I began to see the light.
"Don't judge a book by it's covers." She smiled.
That prompted me to see what was beneath the covers. Indeed. Revealed was the latest and final installment in the series, The Deathly Hallows.
Needless to say, I leaped for joy. I escaped from what seemed to be unfavourable odds, breaking away from the seemingly unbreakable clutches of sadness. The sole ray of hope was enough to give me strength, allowing me to burst through the walls of Despair, Sorrow, and Darkness and emerge into the skies, back to the clouds, the ninth one particularly. At Cloud Nine of Seventh Heaven. I was in jovial mood, just like a papaofhappiness^^.
Anyways, the moral of the story, is to not judge a book by it's covers.
Applying it to our daily lives, it most often means that we shouldn't pre-determine a person's character and misjudge them before we even get to know them.
As much as we hate to admit it, this judging behaviour cannot and will not escape the thoughts of mankind. 10 years, 20 years from now, we'll probably still be judging others, based on appearance, age, authority, race, culture, background and sorts. It's inevitable.
Throughout our lives, there's bound to be people who would suffer from our judging tendencies.
Take me for example, I'm only 16 years old and 24 days, but I've already misjudged countless people beforehand, not giving a care to get to know them better.
That girl? She's a bitch.
That dude? He's just a snob.
Eh him? He can't play basketball for nuts.
WTF, WONGSENG USED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!?!?!?!?! (Actually I still can't get over this.)
These are just examples.
And I'm saying it's wrong, even though unavoidable, for now at least.
Turning back the pendulum, several years back, I used to harbour dissent towards Soonyi, Jenn and Nicola for a period of time, for no particular reason, or just baseless rumours.
But, whaddayaknow? They're among my best of friends now. We recently even clowned around in class with stupid videos that will be posted once I get hold of it.
Even Wong Seng, whom I held a humongous prejudice against, turned out to be a pretty decent person when I got to know him more, even if just a little, via basketball practices.
SOOOO! The message I'm trying to broadcast.... Is....
NEVER, -EVER-, judge a book by it's covers.
Have a nice day and long live friendship.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
A young journalism graduate from Arkansas had gone to work for the New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to him and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state of Arkansas.
Deep in the woods, he came upon a farmers house and decided this would be a good place to start.
He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer (named Farmer Mahon) agreed to answer his questions.
The reporter asked the farmer what event in his life had made him the happiest?
Farmer Mahon replied, “One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all screwed it we took it back to the farmer that lost it.”
“I can’t print that,” said the reporter, “Is there another event that made you really happy?” Farmer Mahon thought for a minute and said, “Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin’ young girl. We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us screwed her, we took her back to her daddy.”
Again the reporter knew he couldn’t print the story and decided to take a different tack. He asked Farmer Mahon, “Is there any event in your life that has made you really sad?”
Farmer Mahon hung his head and replied, “Well, I got lost once.”
I'm out of supplies of good jokes now. Hope that occupies you until I get back lol.
Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the counter with a great big smile on his face.
Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here!
She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."
The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the counter with a bigger smile on his face.
Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"
"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Dave, way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim!!, Dave, she couldn't swim!!!!."
A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer.
Dave says "John, what are you so sad for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Dave, tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does. She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'. Then, she pulled down her pants.... she had a dick, Dave !!! She had a great BIG dick!!! .....
and.... Dave, ..... I CAN'T SWIM!!!"
TO: All Employees
RE: Swearing at work
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip, down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."
"We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? are you crazy??" She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."
"And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."
Two engineering students were walking across the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these people? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The priest said, "Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George, what's the matter that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist friend and see if there is anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far." The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people ... believe that if it isn't broken, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broken, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Replied the architect and artist. "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
One day, an engineer was crossing a road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look. I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
coppied from da.com
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I shit in my pants.
The reporter said, "Under those circumstances anyone would have done the same."
The old explorer said, "No, not then - just now when I went ROARRRR!"
K, this is what I expect.
-A rainy weather.
-The camp to be a moderate success.
-Many people to pass.
-Some outstanding few will shine bright.
-MK to be fun.
-Nightwatch to be fun.
-Gajets to be nicely done.
This is what I want.
-Myself to be stricter.
-Them to start fire without firestarter.
-Many people to pass, but. Only truly exceptional people to become AJK material.
-A joke of the day session. Runned by me. LOLOLOL.
1. A little more time everyday.
2. Ugh, kerajinan.
4. Friend's and family's wellbeing.
5. A sense of urgency.
(8th)... NEW COM!
THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU IS :
YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER :
1. Rather mysterious.
2. Sleeping late at night.
3. ANG MOH SLANG!
4. Bimbo (Twin, with ash._.)
5. Sleeping Beauty?
MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU :
The "Create- a-Story-Spontaneously-with-Bombastic-English-Words" Game.
THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE/SHE SAID TO YOU :
|(02:35) liQi the lion?:||On that sunday morning....|
|(02:36) '<3:||i'm sure godlikeness will find you|
|(02:36) liQi the lion?:||=.=|
|(02:36) liQi the lion?:||righteousness.|
|(02:36) '<3:||i arose and dragged my heavy soul out of the linen sheets that bound my shell..|
|(02:36) '<3:||'i woke up'|
|(02:36) liQi the lion?:||I hate my sheltered lifestyle. This is the end of it.|
|(02:37) liQi the lion?:||eh let's continue the story O_o|
|(02:37) liQi the lion?:||since we're bored anyway|
|(02:37) liQi the lion?:||xD|
|(02:37) '<3:||ok my turn|
|(02:37) '<3:||the end of it; it is the end of all that is life, the end of the life that is all, all we know of life|
|(02:38) liQi the lion?:||*stunned*|
|(02:38) liQi the lion?:||Life... What is it anyway? Is it just a meaningless torture device created by the struggles of heaven and hell?|
|(02:39) '<3:||Crafted so frivolously by the force within us, that will destroy us in the name of us|
|(02:39) '<3:||Life is but a game of chess..|
|(02:40) '<3:||when the board folds, so do we.|
|(02:40) liQi the lion?:||Living our lives as just pawns... Is it worth it? No! It isn't, and thus we mustn't let it end like this. We must strive to be the King.|
|(02:41) '<3:||That crown, lies upon our white stone heads...and stone is but a metaphor, a metaphor to confine all that we are strained from.|
|(02:42) liQi the lion?:||This confinement.... This struggle... Is it meaningless?|
|(02:43) '<3:||The desperate answers locked in the core of man, only to be released when our souls are released from their lockets|
|(02:45) liQi the lion?:||*tough*|
|(02:46) liQi the lion?:||Meaningless or not, it matters not. What matters, were our purposes. Do we have them? Or are we just mere tools?|
|(02:47) '<3:||We have our opinions, mere illusions crafted from the illusion of our choice, but we are feeble, like the handle on a cracked toilet.|
|(02:50) liQi the lion?:|
|(02:50) '<3:||: O|
|(02:50) liQi the lion?:||There, my thoughts stopped. I just realised that I was pooping in the toilet, holding onto the cracked handle of the toilet. I snapped. "HOLY CRAP THE HANDLE BROKE!?!?! HOW AM I GONNA FLUSH NOW!?!?!"|
|(02:50) liQi the lion?:||i am teh winnar!|
|(02:51) '<3:||Illusion : Pop|
IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL :
have already found my first love. I guess.
PASS THE QUIZ TO 10 PEOPLE THAT YOU WISH TO KNOW HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU : (Gee, I don't have much options left.)
8. Jia Ni?
9. REALLY DON'T HAVE OPTIONS LEFT
10. AH KUMAR BABA!
WHO IS NO. 7 HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH?
WHO IS NO.9 HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH?
IF NO.9 AND NO.1 ARE TOGETHER, WILL IT BE A GOOD THING?
Nah, Joel has options.
HOW ABOUT NO.1 AND NO.5?
Haha, honestly? No. But who knows? =D
WHAT IS NO.3 STUDYING?
How to turn Shawty on.
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CHATTED WITH NO.6?
Really quite some time ago.
DOES NO.4 WORK?
Ya, she works at the Cherylhouse.
DOES NO.8 HAVE ANY COUSINS IN HIS/HER OWN SCHOOL?
WOULD YOU WOO NO.8?
HOW ABOUT NO.5??
DOES NO.2 HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?
3.HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW NO.2?
Haha. Friendster. Finally had some use, that thing.
IS NO.5 THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN AND PHILLIP HUAHUAHUA!
To Justin: Thou Shalt Not Control Us Anymore!!!!
To Philip: Good luck being a millionaire!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Guy: Thank you for your kindness. even though we are not familiar to each other you still showed compassion to me.
Old Guy: Tis nothing my friend. I can also set you up for the evening and tomorrow you can continue with whatever you were doing here in the 1st place.
Guy: Thank you kind sir!
Old Guy: HOWEVER! IF YOU DARE SO MUCH AS TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, I WILL GIVE YOU THE 3 WORST TORTURE EVER!!!!
The guy just said ok and continued eating, thinking that the daughter would be as old as his host but ALAS! the daughter came down from her room and is very beautiful, innocent in look and yet voluptuous in form (yummy!) The guy cannot stop glancing at her and from his "manly instinct" he could say that the girl likes him as well. Remembering the old man's advice, he proceeded to his room and tried to sleep.
Then at midnight, he still could not resist teh temptation, so he sneaked out of his room and went to the daughter's room for a night of passion. He was very careful in keeping everything quiet and he went back to his room to avoid suspicion.
The next morning, he woke up to find a huge rock on top of his chest with a note, " TORTURE #1, HUGE ROCK ON TOP OF PERVERT'S CHEST"
The guy laughed and said, " This is pretty lame! If this is his so-called torture, then I have nothing to worry about then!". HE lifted the heavy rock with both hands and threw it out of the window. Then he noticed that there was another note attached to the rock, " TORTURE #2, BIG ROCK OVER tHE PER VERTS CHEST IS TIED TO PERVERT'S RIGHT TESTICLE". He panicked and looked down to check on the rock falling down at an alarming speed. Thinking that a few broken bones is way better that castration, he jumped out of the window to follow the rock. Then to his surprise, he saw a huge note wriiten on the ground.
" TORTURE #3, LEFT TESTICLE OF PERVERT TIED TO BEDPOST"
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races.
However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline:
PREACHER’S ASS SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read:
PREACHER’S ASS OUT IN FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER’S ASS
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The Bishop was buried the next day.
A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes :
"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"
She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note:
"USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"
The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him:
"I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!"
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy calms down and says:
" Make 'em all ugly again."
Don't laugh!" said the patient
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.
Now...what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," the patient replied.
Monday, April 7, 2008
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...HELLOOO!...bottles won't fit in printer.
March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months....box said "2 - 4 years"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out.
May- Tried to make Kool-Aid - wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into that little packet.
June- Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stoke swimming competition...learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August- Got locked out of my car in a rain storm...car swamped because soft-top was open.
September- The capital of California is "C", isn't it?
October- Hate M&M's - they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 !!!
December - Couldn't dial 911- duh - there's no eleven on the stupid phone.
* I didn't write this. Found it on forum.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
ALMOST HALF OF MY READERS ARE EMOKIASSS!!!!!! WHY YOU SO EMO!!!
YOU KNOW FINDING NEMO OR NOT!? YOU KNOW HOW THEY FOUND NEMO? BECAUSE THEY NOT EMO LA! SO YOU WANT FIND NEMO YOU BETTER NOT EMO!
Ahem. That was random.
And five can't really speak English. I appreciate your valiant attempt to send your message through despite not having much ability in the language compartment. You guys rock. No, really, I'm not being sarcastic!
Happy to hear 3 of them are enjoying great days, I bet they had sex.
While to the other three, the best has yet to come. Yes, your turn will come.
I bet those emokias are always feeling like this:
Dude, grow up, and learn to
Which brings me to my next post.
I made that picture btw. If it's even a picture.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
It might not have been the greatest day of my life.
But, I definitely experienced my greatest morning on 1/4/2008.
To all who've made my day such a pleasant one, you have my sincerest and deepest appreciation and thanks.
Especially Jou and Yy, who were surely the masterminds heh.
I'm truly grateful I have such wonderful friends.
Heh, few days ago, me and my friends were talking bout stuff..
We sort of said about how your friend celebrates your birthday signifies how you've been to them.
I must've been quite significant in their lives, to get such a wonderful party. =D
Proudnya. Heh. Thanks alot.
I'm sure Yy, Jou and Koks have a lot to say about how I was shocked by them and fell onto my bed when they appeared behind my toilet doors. =="
Heh, stunnya. I sort of knew they were gonna do something, but certainly not in my house early in the morning.
Yeap, so the 5 of us (+ huaj) ended up walking to school together. They were diverting my attention with Yy, but that didn't stop me from noticing kokweng was carrying some stuff and dodging my line of sight.
==" I'm not so dumb kay, just didn't want to spoil your fun, or mine. =D
I really really thank you all from the bottom of my heart. *bow*
What, that wasn't enough? Want a curtsy as well? Hahahah.
It was a really happy day for me.
Despite several people being unbelieving of my birth date, it was no matter. Nothing could stop today from developing into a great day.
Some people whom I did not expect to wish me did. So.... It's nice being popular every once in a while. =D
GUIDE: How to make the idiot happy.
Step One: Go up randomly to him and say happy birthday.
Step Two: Give a big big smile. =DDDD
Step Three shouldn't be needed. Heh.
Yep. So I was a real happy man today.
Thank you all. I'll drive you all out in a year's time. =)
And here's the cards I received. (First time I've received birthday cards. ==")
Jou's. As usual, great art.
Joel. Paying homage to my blog name lol. Very creative! You can move the hand to poke the girl's face. -.-
karMun's. Small (like her) but neat and nice. =D
Pou's. Damn Kua Zhiong. Needed hauyon to mail it to me (by bike) lol.
And this is last year's. =D
Once again, thanks so much to all of you. And Jou I want the pictures. Hah.
Yours truly, Li Qi the Lycheese or Qiraffe or whatever you want to call me! =D
The greatest friends. Will treasure them. :)
-Birthday Wish(ed): "I wish the best for all my friends and their lives..."